Have you ever noticed how things taken with a flash just look… dirtier? I still can’t believe my computer now has a recipe folder labeled pussy…
I’m on my way out for a trip up to Portland tomorrow morning and am burning the midnight oil on this entry. Sweets and I are heading to a gathering of friends that is also a cookoff, with a couple different ingredient categories. I have a wonderful friend who is the judge for the coconut category, and well I kind of dared myself to make suggestive cupcakes for her.
When Lovescool announced the SHF ingredient of dark chocolate, we were given a good challenge, “Not so fast. Even though dark chocolate is a common baking ingredient for most of us, in the spirit of Sugar High Friday I challenge you to find something new and interesting to make. Try a different recipe or add a twist to one of your favorites.”
Well, I now have staring at me, several dark chocolate cupcakes with an interesting twist.
Except, upon seeing my entry, Sweets had to comment, Umm babe, this is a kink, not a twist…
Have you ever noticed how appalingly bad most erotic pastries look? In particular I’m thinking of the feminine goodies. I found some Not Safe for Work Images here, here, here, and here. If you don’t want to click through trust me- the standard is bad. Given my wonderful coconut judging friend’s sexual persuasion, I took it upon myself to have some fun with this night and have integrated coconut and dark chocolate twisted with some delightfully naughty marzipan.
I give to you (gulp… my Mother reads this blog!) Coconut Cream Filled Dark Chocolate Spicy X-Rated Pussy Cakes…
Coconut Cream Filled Dark Chocolate X-Rated Pussy Cakes
Spicy Dark Chocolate Cupcakes with Coconut Cream Cheese Filling
This cupcake consists of three main parts- the chocolate batter, the cream batter, and the marzipan decoration. This recipe is from eGullet, straight out of the hands of a wonderful recipe craftsman, Nightscotsman. Recipe also found at eGullet.
For Chocolate Cake:
Just mix up all these ingredients till smooth.
- 3 cups cake flour
- 2/3 cup cocoa
- 2 tsp baking soda
- 2 cups sugar
- 1 tsp salt
- 2 cups coconut milk
- 1/2 cup + 2 Tbs veg. oil, or butter or margarine
- 1 Tbs vanilla
- 2 Tbs vinegar
Don’t worry about overmixing. Batter will be quite liquid if vegetable oil is used as the fat.
Grate into the chocolate batter 2oz of Dagoba’s spicy Xocolatl dark chocolate bar. This is a wonderful chocolate that has a slight bite of chili peppers and little crunchy bits of cocoa nib. If this can’t be found, just add the slightest pinch of your favorite chili powder, or cayenne to your chocolate batter.
For Coconut Cream Cheese filling:
beat together till smooth
- 12 oz cream cheese – room temp
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1 cup of sweetened coconut
- 1/2 tsp of almond flavoring
pop the filling into the refidgerator to firm up slightly.
Put paper liners in muffin tins. Fill each with 2 Tbs of chocolate batter. Top with a generous 1 Tbs blob of filling, and top with more chocolate batter. Fill the cupcake wrappers 2/3 of the way full.
Pop into a 350F oven for 25 minutes or until a toothpick tester comes out clean.
Let cupcakes cool completely and now contemplate your top decorations.
The key here is pink food coloring, marzipan dough, shades of toasted coconut, a couple simple sculpture tools, some vegetable oil, and a patient partner to tell you when you’ve got things right.
I’ll provide a tutorial of sorts for how to sculpt these beauties when I come back. As it’s now 1:30am, I truly need to rest up for our motorcycle trip tomorrow morning!
Enjoy!
Tagged with: SHF13 + Dark Chocolate
And why not throw erotic pastries in there too…
36 Comments
Haha, that is just hilarious 
Gorgeous – you did a great job!
WOW
Great job !!!!
I don’t even know what to say about these, McAuliflower. You did a great job decorating them, and they sound like they’ll taste great. I actually love that you censored them in the post – too cute!
Oh my. Oh my. . . So what did your mother say?
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My Mom checks into the blog occasionally… I don’t think she’s seen this entry yet!
–McAuliflower
OH McAULIFLOWER!! You are a DIRTY GIRL! You’re even more fun than I could have imagined after that first meeting! Incredibly, er, creative cupcakes – I can’t wait to hear how they do with the judging, uncensored and all! Do tell! And I hope your trip was a great one.
brilliant. i plan to make a giant one of these instead of little cupcakes. would using filling still work or would i be best making a plain chocolate cake and focusing my energies on the most fabulous decoration?
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Oooo a big one? I think the filling would still work, though its a guess. A cupcake dissection reveals that the cheesecake filling sets up to a consistency just like the cupcake, maybe a little denser. This isn’t a squishy filling.
Also, if you want to use frosting, plain ole white vanilla frosting mixed with pink coloring and coffee achieves a nice range of skin tones. The coffee is key to adding beige or tan tones. I made one test cupcake this way, while just making the labia out of marzipan. It worked well.
Do tell us how this larger size works out! And any stories on its reception will be highly entertained!
–McAuliflower, who is now sick from eating the “extra” cupcakes
More than an interesting twist. Great idea! You could market these sweet pussies. Also love the censored photo. Have fun in PDX!
One word: YOWSAH!
[...] These are now Award Winning! [...]
Not since The Two Fat Ladies made their pink breasts have I blushed when looking at a dessert!
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Ohh, I remember that episode! I miss them (and the side car!).
–McAuliflower
Oh-My! Is that “cherry” flavored frosting…?
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Hi Mom,
to quote Sweets on the cherry issue: “Do we really need to get into deceptive advertising?”
–luv, Joc
What a hoot!
those are a scream! or is that a moan?
LOL!
okay, and the best part is your MOM’S comment!!!
that is hilariously naughty.
LOL!
Oh, You are such a genius! These are the sexiest for my love food items I’ve seen since peaches!
[...] day 2005 Circulars / Make your list, and check it twice! (And don’t get stomped on) Cupcakes… / … X-Rated cupcakes that is! Gigantic apes… / [...]
I had the most fun ever with these cup cakes. My boyfriend and I decorated together (very erotic).
We also made “edible undies” for them out of fruit roll ups. We gave everyone the option of taking a look under the undies. Every one DID and every one loved them.
Oh yes, The actual recipe is the best tasting cup cake ever.
Thanks for the fun. My boyfriend says thanks too.
Lydia
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Yea!!! Thanks for the report back. The panties are a nice touch.
–McAuliflower
[...] X-Rated Cupcakes by McAuliflower at Brownie Points Eugene, Oregon [...]
Well done! I was wondering if you use anything particular to glue the coconut onto the marzipan? Thanks!
I don’t think I did- i just pressed it on. When the marzipan is warmed up in your hands it can develop a bit of a stick to it (if I remember correctly).
–McAuliflower
[...] Via her sweet curtsy @Portlandfood.org, we are introduced to McAuliflower’s Brownie Points and her very naughty X-Rated Cupcakes. [...]
//warmed up in your hands it can develop a bit of a stick to it//
…not unlike the subjects of the cakes themselves, huh? Was that intentional, or just a Freudian slip? 
Excellent work, McAuliflower!
Good thing coconut allegies were popularized in Sex and the City, no?
Funniest thing I’ve ever seen!
Hahaha. OK, I came to see the bacon vodka (ew!) but I stayed for these. This is hysterical!
[...] If She Wanted You to Cook For Her: Pussy Cupcakes She hinted she’d love for you to make her something special this Valentine’s? That a man who can cook turns her on, and a little homemade treat would get her in the mood? This is not what she meant. And any comment that this is almost like having a threesome, will just make it worse. (But in case you want to make some for a bachelor party, the recipe is here.) [...]
Fantastic! The whole blog. For the first time in my life i feel like getting in the kitchen and start exploring. Very nice job. Congratulations.
[...] There are very few places that make beautiful and delicious cupcakes. Back in the Day in Savannah’s Starland District and The Cupcake Shoppe in Raleigh. Then there’s those who take that to another level. Like the girl who made knitted cupcakes. Or the perfect snack at the Vagina Monologues. [...]
These are freaking AWESOME! I can hardly wait to make some!
how does one sculpt these!?
it looks so awesome i want to do it quickly but i can’t figure it out!
[...] for your Valentine? “I’m making x-rated red velvet cupcakes. (link not safe for work!!) https://browniepointsblog.com/2005/10/22/shf-13-x-rated-cupcakes/ I’m doing this because my SO made a smart-a** comment about what he wanted for [...]
OMG this is AWESOME!!! It has inspired me to make some “twinkie” shaped companions for them… thanks for the recipe!!!
findly a cake I would love to eat.
[...] I strongly advise you to wait until your boss leaves the room, then direct your browser to the Brownie Points website. [...]
Had so much fun licking off the frosting!!!
Is there a link where we can see them uncensored? Or can you email the picture to me? I’d love to make these for a friend’s birthday! Very, very wonderful idea!
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